28 Burning Questions I Had After Watching The Summer I Turned Pretty Finale

The following article contains spoilers for ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ season three, episode 11.

Well, well, well, we’re finally here. The endpoint of The Summer I Turned Pretty. And what a ride it’s been. Three seasons of brooding looks across dinner tables, a love triangle that could, not unfairly, be described as borderline incestuous and a lead character called “Belly” who has basically decided – and been told by her mother’s best friend, since birth – that she only has two romantic options in her life. No others, sorry!

I personally feel ambivalent about it all being over. On the one hand, I’ll be getting my life back. I don’t have to keep thinking and talking about these fictional rich kids who are over a decade younger than myself and living in a fictional town that resembles the Hamptons. On the other, I’ll miss Cousins! I’ll miss Taylor’s outfits! I’ll even miss Jeremiah’s puppyish face when he gets mad! All of that said, upon watching the finale (at work, in the morning, instead of doing my job), I am still left with a number of burning questions. Some of which you may or may not agree with. See them all below.

Why would Conrad fly over there without checking whether Belly has a boyfriend or something? Classic Conrad!
Anyone else think Belly could have gone a bit blunter with the french bob?
Has Jeremiah ever mentioned wanting to be a chef before all this, aside from making some smoothies and eggs?
How do Conrad and Belly manage to skip all the crowds and queues for those tourist attractions?
Was it really that view that made Belly fall in love with Paris?
How did Belly learn how to speak perfect French within the space of a year?
Why is the phrase “fuck me sideways you American slut” so addictive to say?
I can’t believe Belly admitted that she was the villain?!
Why does every guy in this show have a weird big fringe?
Speaking of which, why doesn’t Conrad grow his hair out into a little ’90s bob?
How was Susannah ever married to American Psycho Adam?
Does Jeremiah faithfully dye the tips of his curls blonde? There’s no way he got that from the sea.
Has Belly ever looked better than when she’s in red lipstick and smoking a blunt? Sorry, it’s true!
Anyone else want a TSITP spin-off based on Taylor being “the baddest bitch in PR”?
Why did Jeremiah and Denise kiss when they have zero chemistry?
Why do people always slow dance unironically in TV shows to no music but no one does that in real life?
Why do Americans say “write me”? It’s “write to me”.
Did we really need another Conrad speech?
Did anyone else think we were going to watch Belly give Conrad a blowjob?
Why did Belly have sex with Conrad before having that dramatic conversation and not after? She’s the worst.
Why would Belly allow Conrad to leave at 5am? At least let him have a nap first?
Was all that running without a vest or bag really necessary? Couldn’t she have come to the same conclusion before kicking Conrad out?
Did Belly buy a train ticket just to make this declaration or did she hop over the barriers? Also, Paris Gare Du Nord is literally never this empty.
Also, does she get stuck going to Brussels? What is she going to sleep in? Why does this never get explained?
Anyone else imagining being on your morning commute and having to hear some girl in a vest say “every version of me chooses you”?
Now we’re at the end, why did no one in this entire show really seem to absorb how weird it was that Belly kept swapping between two brothers?
So what, is that it? Now that Belly’s got a year or two in Paris out of her system she’s ready to settle down in Cousins? At least wait until 27!
Anyone else think this could have all been avoided if they’d just… agreed to be a throuple?