A spokesperson has shared the touching reason Cat Deeley was absent from her mother-in-law’s funeral, revealing the family made the decision for her to stay at home and be with her children.

Deeley’s husband, Patrick Kielty, 54, paid his final respects to his mother, Mary Kielty, at her funeral in Northern Ireland on Monday after she passed away at her home in Co Down on Saturday aged 84.

While Kielty acted as a pallbearer carrying his mother’s coffin, Deeley, 48, did not attend the funeral and presented This Morning on Monday.

The couple have been married since 2012, and have two sons together, Milo, nine, and James, six, with a spokesperson revealing the family opted for Deeley to miss the funeral service to stay at home and care for their young children as they navigated their grief.

“Cat remained at home to be there for her two young children before and after school on this very sad day,” the spokesperson told the Mirror.

Should children attend a funeral?

Deciding whether or not children should be present at the funeral of a loved one is a tricky dilemma many parents may face.

Psychologist and wellbeing specialist, Lee Chambers, previously told Yahoo UK there is no hard and fast rule about bringing children to funerals.

“The most significant consideration is that there is no one-size-fits-all rule or specific age to apply, but it should be a decision based on the children involved and their needs,” he says.

While some question whether children are mature enough to cope with the sombre nature of funeral proceedings, Chambers says for some young people it can help them with their own grief process.

“While children grieve in a different way to adults, having the opportunity to express their feelings, talk about their memories and experiences, and say goodbye can help children come to terms with the loss of someone they love,” he says.

“They can receive support from others going through similar feelings, and have their feelings normalised by seeing others grieve in different ways.”

Chambers says some children may also feel that they have done something important and “been there”, given funerals are usually a one-off ritual.

Dipti Tait, a psychotherapist, grief therapist and author of Planet Grief agrees that there is no wrong or right thing to do when considering whether to allow children to attend a funeral.

“It really does depend on the child and the relationship they had with the person who died,” she previously told Yahoo UK.

But there are some considerations including the age of the child, their relationship with the person who died and how it might impact your own ability to grieve.

“In the case of very young children, under 10 years old – if they have lost a close family member, it may be a good idea to not have them there as it could be overwhelming for both the child and the people who want to show their grief openly,” she explains.

“If the child is older – above 10 years old – it is important to give the child the choice to attend the funeral with the option of leaving if it gets too much for them to handle,” she adds.

“It is important children feel as if they have been considered in death and not pushed to one side – this way they feel safe and loved.”

Experts say there is no hard and fast rule about bringing children to funerals. (Getty Images)

How can you tell if a child is ready to attend a funeral?

Chambers says it is important to think about how you can prepare your child and support them in making an informed decision about whether to attend.

“Helping them to make a choice can be empowering in a time of uncertainty and sadness,” he explains.

“Informing them of what it will be like, the emotions they might see, and where and who will be there, can give them a feeling of security.”

When it comes to readiness, Chambers says it is also worth considering how your child handles social situations, how they sit and follow social cues.

“Children of different ages have different needs, and if your child is old enough to express a desire to attend, it is likely they will benefit from the experience, as the most important thing isn’t that they attend the funeral itself, but they were given a choice,” he adds.

“For younger children, it’s very much a decision based on your feelings on their readiness, and the most important thing is to be compassionate to yourself as you will also be grieving.”

If a child doesn’t attend a funeral experts say it is important for them to say goodbye. (Getty Images)

What can you do instead if children don’t attend?

Tait says it is essential children, however old they are, are involved in marking their loss. You need to allow them the time, space and consideration to be able to express their emotions and grieve in their own way.

“If children don’t attend the funeral of a loved one, it is very important that the child is given the opportunity to express their grief and sadness in alternative ways that are personally tailored for each child,” she explains.

“Making memory boxes, drawing pictures and sharing stories can help, as well as visiting the memorial site at a later date when it’s quieter with the child so there is closure for them.