Remember when American Horror Story: Apocalypse flashed back to Russia in 1918 to reveal that Anastasia Romanov was a literal witch? Well, the FX anthology outdid itself on Wednesday by shoehorning Mia Farrow into the insanity that is AHS: Delicate.
The season’s penultimate episode takes us back to Manhattan in 1967, where an overwhelmed Farrow is in the midst of filming Rosemary’s Baby. We get a feel-good moment between the actress and then-husband Frank Sinatra, who threatens to divorce her if she doesn’t quit the movie. “Marriage isn’t about what’s fair,” Ol’ Blue Eyes tells her, one of the nuggets of wisdom he sneaks in between “don’t interrupt me”s. He finally asks her, “How can you expect to be a good mother if this is what you’re chasing?” to which she replies, “I’ll figure it out. Women always do.”
We’re then treated to a horrific sequence of Farrow hallucinating in her dressing room, seemingly pregnant with an actual demon baby who causes her to bleed out all over the floor. A familiar, dulcet tone from just outside the room talks Farrow down from her frantic state, and when she opens the door to thank her mystery savior, she’s greeted by none other than Siobhan. And just in case you didn’t pick up on the endless context clues, the camera then slowly zooms into the Rosemary’s Baby script in Siobhan’s hands.
(Side note: What’s being implied here? That Farrow was suckered into Siobhan’s evil web? That feels like a lot, though not as “a lot” as the brief exchange Farrow has with Sharon Tate in this episode. “The devil is beautiful,” Tate warns her. “And you find him in the people you’d never expect.” This whole episode is a lot, frankly.)
In present-day Manhattan, Dex and his family gather for Virginia’s funeral, which features a surprise appearance from the incredibly not-invited Ms. Preecher. Some people would bring flowers to an occasion like this. Others might bring a thoughtful note. Not Ms. Preecher. Not this cuckoo bird. She walks right down the aisle, interrupting the woman’s eulogy from her son, and declares, “She did not kill herself! She was killed! You did not listen to her! She tried to warn you!” And how is Ms. Preecher thanked for her thoughtful gift? She’s dragged out of the church by security, screaming, “Listen to your wife!” (Honestly, this season should have just been called American Horror Story: Listen to Your Wife.)
Anna follows Ms. Preecher to the hospital, where she’s immediately mistaken for her daughter, which feels like a weird misdirect. What Ms. Preecher tells her next, however, is definitely not a misdirect: “They will win. They will take everything from you. All of your dreams will become a nightmare. Get out now!” Desperate to know more, Anna camps out by Ms. Preecher’s bedside for the night, but the woman is gone when she wakes up the next morning. The Women in Black strike again!
Anna wastes no time booting Dex from their home, emphasizing her fury by clutching a black cat while the deed is done. Still, it kind of feels like self-proclaimed “piece of s–t” Dex is getting off easy here. Something tells us his true punishment is coming in next week’s finale — and it’s going to be glorious.
Before you know it, Oscars Sunday has arrived. And as if the big day isn’t stressful enough, Anna discovers that her legs have turned suspiciously spider-like. Black, hairy, gooey — it’s just a real mess down there. After stalling for time, she finally reveals her overnight evolution to Siobhan… but her legs are suddenly back to normal! This feels a lot like when Siobhan calmed down Mia Farrow back in 1967 (a sentence we can’t believe we just typed), so we’re thinking this is a thing she does, planting visions in people’s heads. You know, like in real life.
It’s all fun and games (and a few contractions) on the Oscars red carpet, but the mood shifts considerably when the ceremony begins — as it usually does, depending on the host. During Anna’s category, Siobhan looks her dead in the face and asks, “Do you want this? What would you give up? Anything?” Siobhan is practically doing the Groucho Marx eyebrow wiggle at this point, but just so there’s absolutely no misunderstanding, she places her hand on Anna’s stomach. Anna nods, and just like that… she wins! Anna and Siobhan celebrate with a kiss for whatever reason, and Anna takes the stage to accept her award.
Her speech is interrupted by a hallucination of her mother (likely Siobhan’s handiwork), but it’s honestly all for the best. Who would Anna even thank in her speech: the guy who lied about writing it and then “killed himself”? The centuries-old publicist who used black magic to conquer awards season? Or how about the garbage husband who supported her absolutely zero steps of the way? She’s better off skipping the speech entirely. Besides, she’s got a baby on the way!
OK, let’s talk: Did you see Dex and Cora’s affair coming? Did you even remember who Core was? And what are your predictions for next week’s finale? Drop all of your thoughts in a comment below.