The host returned to his late night-styled show Monday night with a monologue that addressed his own surprise at becoming a first-time father at age 60, with a few swipes at some of his favorite foes along the way.
“So I’m back. And [it’s] true I had a baby. I was out for a month and I have the chewed up nipples to prove it,” he joked. “Eat your heart out, Mayor Pete. I guess that makes me qualified to run the Department of Transportation.”
“Speaking of trans,” he said, segueing to another of his favorite targets. “Any man who thinks putting on a dress and a wig makes you a woman? No way. I was there when that baby popped out and no dude can do that. You might as well put on a diaper and claim you are a baby.” Cut to a photo of Joe Biden: “Or president.”
“If you are shocked at me having a brat at 60, imagine how I feel. When my wife–my wife told me she was pregnant, mine was the first diaper she had to change,” he joked.
The host did get a bit more serious as he touched on the sacrifices that parents make for their children.
“The lesson I have learned is how much I have to unlearn. Meaning throughout my life I have mastered the art of being selfish. And it’s helped my career. But a great career it’s not hard when you’re only about you.”
That last bit apparently perked the ears of his regular panelist Kat Timpf, who herself is seven months pregnant.
“I’m excited to meet this new, nice Greg,” she quipped. “You were like, ‘I think about other people’s feelings now,’ and I can’t wait to see it.”
Watch the entire segment from Monday night’s Gutfeld! below:
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