However, occasionally, that isn’t the case. Some relationships in romance movies aren’t as appropriate as these, ranging from the slightly problematic to the questionably legal. From affairs that are never truly addressed, massive age differences, and concealed identities, sometimes an inappropriate relationship can tarnish the message and legacy of even the most endearing romance movie.
Edward and Vivian in Pretty Woman
Exploitative Power Dynamics
Pretty Woman is often revered as one of the greatest romance movies ever made. Indeed, the story of wealthy businessman Edward (Richard Gere) falling in love with Vivian (Julia Roberts), a sex worker whom he hires for an evening, is certainly a compelling tale. However, no matter how interesting their love story, there is no denying that Edward and Vivian’s relationship simply feels like a rich man exploiting a vulnerable sex worker.
Vivian states in Pretty Woman that she often dreamed of being “rescued” from her circumstances by a valiant knight on a white horse. Eventually, Edward becomes this knight in Pretty Woman‘s ending scene, exchanging the horse for a white limousine, a flashy symbol of his wealth. What was certainly intended to be a romantic tale ends up feeling more like Edward being able to win Vivian back by manipulating her dreams.
Kathleen And Joe In You’ve Got Mail
Identity Theft Is Not A Joke, Jim, It’s Actually A Crime
The New York-based plot of Nora Ephron’s acclaimed You’ve Got Mailrevolves around Kathleen (Meg Ryan) and Joe’s (Tom Hanks) unlikely meeting and relationship. Kathleen, who runs a local bookshop, makes friends with “NY152” on AOL, who is actually Joe, but she doesn’t know his identity. Joe runs Fox Books, a major chain of bookstores that plans to open one that would rival Kathleen’s business, and eventually discovers that she is the woman that he has been emailing.
Now, the law in New York that tackles false impersonation is vague when it comes to not revealing your identity, but it is safe to assume that what Joe did in You’ve Got Mail was both legally and ethically dubious (via Stephen Bilkis & Associates). It’s a weird dynamic that raises a whole host of manipulative issues as Joe slowly gains Kathleen’s trust online. This impersonation is never really addressed, and given that Joe was also Kathleen’s business rival when he hid his identity, makes You’ve Got Mail‘s love story incredibly inappropriate.
Aurora And Jim In Passengers
Uncomfortable And Manipulative
Passengers is a sci-fi romance movie built on the premise of humanity’s mass exodus from a dying Earth on a fleet of spaceships where they hibernate in pods until they reach a habitable planet. One of the spaceships sees Jim’s (Chris Pratt) pod malfunction, waking him up 90 years too early from hibernation. After a year of solitude, Jim wakes Aurora (Jennifer Lawrence) up, and they spend a romantic year together before she discovers that he woke her up.
It is hard for the audience to sympathize with Jim, or want to be connected to the relationship because they see him wake Aurora up. By doing so, Jim essentially violated her right to live on a habitable planet, and laid the foundations for their eventual romantic relationship to be built upon a lack of consent and major levels of manipulation. When Aurora eventually forgives Jim and agrees to marry him, it feels more reluctant than an act of true love. Ultimately, Passengers’ romantic relationship is quite hard to watch.
Ben And Andie In How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Andie Loses Everything, Ben Loses Nothing
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is a rom-com based around a simple premise. Andie (Kate Hudson) is a magazine columnist who is writing an article about How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, where she will meet a guy, date him, and then provoke him to dump her. Ben (Matthew McConaughey) is an advertising executive who makes a bet with his boss that he can make any woman fall in love with him in 10 days. And, of course, the two end up making each other the target of their missions.
The movie ends with them each discovering their true identities, and Andie quits her job at the magazine to go for a job in Washington D.C. Ben stops her, confesses his true love, and they kiss. What is meant to be a romantic ending to a great movie ends up feeling more like the audience has bitten into a bad apple. Andie has lost her job, and her opportunity to go for a new job, while Ben has seemingly got away with the scheme without repercussions. Their on-screen chemistry is undeniable, but the unfair outcomes of Ben and Andie in How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days make their relationship that bit less compelling.
Mr. Wickham And Lydia In Pride And Prejudice
The Manipulation Of A Sixteen-Year-Old
Jane Austen’s romantic novel, Pride and Prejudice, is one of the greatest love stories of all time, and has been adapted multiple times, most notably the 2005 Pride and Prejudice adaptation starring Keira Knightley as Elizabeth and Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy. While Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s relationship is a timeless tale of misunderstanding and challenge, the romantic subplot involving Mr. Wickham (Rupert Friend) and Elizabeth’s younger sister, Lydia (Jena Malone) is no such fairytale. It is downright uncomfortable to watch.
While Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy’s relationship is a timeless tale of misunderstanding and challenge, the romantic subplot involving Mr. Wickham and Elizabeth’s younger sister, Lydia, is no-such fairytale.
After failing to win Elizabeth’s hand, Mr. Wickham runs away with Lydia and eventually marries her. Bearing in mind that Lydia is only sixteen in Pride and Prejudice‘s story, it is hard not to feel that this relationship is highly manipulative and exploitative, as Mr. Wickham has a history of trying to gain status and wealth. Of course, Austen was more than clear in the book that this was an inappropriate relationship and that Mr. Wickham was a scoundrel for taking advantage of the naive and lovesick Lydia. Still, it is impossible to shake the feelings of awkwardness that occur when Mr. Wickham and Lydia are on screen together.
Cher And Josh In Clueless
Oh, Brother
A staple of 1990s rom-coms, Clueless is an adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel, Emma, which sees the titular character go against the typical confines of their social environment. Cher (Alicia Silverstone) loves orchestrating romances between people in her life, including two of her teachers, and teaches her fellow classmates and friends as “projects” to work on. However, Clueless also acts as a slow-burn in building toward the relationship between Cher and Josh (Paul Rudd). The problem here is that Josh was Cher’s step-brother.
They’re technically not related by blood and their parents were only briefly married, but this does not make Clueless‘ primary relationship feel any less weird. Clueless plays their unconventional relationship off as just another way that Cher goes against society’s expectations, but it blurs the lines of what is acceptable and non-problematic. As a comedy movie, Clueless plays its part to perfection, but as a love story, while Cher and Josh’s relationship is legal and consensual, its romantic appeal is certainly complicated, to say the least.
Josh And Susan In Big
The Relationship Is Literally Illegal
You’ve Got Mail had false impersonation, and Pride And Prejudice had underage issues, but Big takes the cake by having both of these in its central relationship. When 12-year-old Josh (David Moscow/Tom Hanks) magically transforms into an adult, he starts dating Susan (Elizabeth Perkins), and only reveals his identity after they have been together for a while. Despite Josh appearing to be a fully grown man, he is still mentally and emotionally a child, below the age of consent, turning this supposedly light-hearted relationship very dark.
While Susan was initially not aware of Josh’s true identity, she shows little to no remorse or regret about her actions after she finds out, making Big less of a rom-com, and more of a cautionary tale about consent and identity.
Big is often lauded as a classic comedy, but given the illegal and unsettling nature of Josh and Susan’s relationship, it is hard not to feel uncomfortable when watching it. There are a host of ethical, legal, and emotional issues at play here, none of which are really addressed by the movie. While Susan was initially not aware of Josh’s true identity, she shows little to no remorse or regret about her actions after she finds out, making Big less of a rom-com, and more of a cautionary tale about consent and identity.
Iris And Jasper In The Holiday
Holding On Does More Damage Than Letting Go
In perhaps the most realistic entry on this list, Iris (Kate Winslet) and Jasper’s (Rufus Sewell) relationship in The Holiday is incredibly problematic. Iris and Jasper are exes, as well as colleagues, and when he gets engaged to another woman, she swaps houses with the Los Angeles-based Amanda (Cameron Diaz) for Christmas. Jasper then surprises Iris in L.A. to reignite their romance, and she almost falls for it until she realizes that he is still engaged.
This is a relationship that involves Jasper continually stringing Iris along and expecting her to drop everything for him in an instant. While The Holiday does have a happy ending for Iris, her toxic infatuation with Jasper throughout the movie can leave a sour taste in the mouth. However, this relationship certainly deserves its credit as a realistic depiction of emotional manipulation, obsession, and unrequited love.
Harry And Mia In Love Actually
Love Actually Isn’t As Perfect As In The Movies
A movie character that is sure to get even the calmest audience angry, Harry (Alan Rickman) is one of the more toxic characters in Love Actually. His actions in the British Christmas classic are problematic at the least, and adulterous at the worst. Despite being married with children to Karen (Emma Thompson), Harry becomes attached to his much younger colleague, Mia (Heike Makatsch), who has a not-so-hidden crush on him. Karen is left devastated when she discovers that Harry has bought Mia a gold necklace for Christmas.
While Harry never explicitly cheats on Karen with Mia, his infidelity is laid bare in this rather brutal depiction of love. The scene where Karen is trying to hold back tears while listening to Joni Mitchell will make any audience cry, and her eventual confrontation with Harry is just as bitter. Harry and Karen are still together when Love Actually ends, but it is clear that their marriage will take a lot of work to get over his infidelity.
Edward And Bella In Twilight
Iconic, But No Less Problematic
Despite being one of the most iconic couples in romance movie history, Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) relationship in the Twilight saga is hugely problematic. For starters, Edward is 104 years old, while Bella is only 17 when the two fall in love. She turns 18 in the second movie, but this doesn’t excuse Edward’s controlling behavior, including watching her sleep, isolating himself after telling her that he is a vampire, and gaslighting her on multiple occasions.
It’s an unhealthy relationship across all the Twilight movies, with Edward’s obsessive behavior making for very uncomfortable viewing.
This is putting aside the fact that Edward is a literal vampire and Bella is a teenage girl. Twilight‘s main love story, despite its major impact on romance movies in the 2000s and 2010s, is borderline abusive and almost certainly illegal in the first movie. It’s a dynamic that is impossible to ignore and undercuts what’s meant to be a passionate romance. It’s an unhealthy relationship across all the Twilight movies, with Edward’s obsessive behavior and Bella’s lack of agency outside of him making for very uncomfortable viewing.
