Before you all begin throwing rotten tomatoes at me or forcing a scarlet “L” for LOSER onto my chest, let me preface this by saying that I loved this show. I thought Nobody Wants This was a well-thought-out, beautifully crafted romcom that might ignite a new golden era of romance comedies. Adam Brody might just have healed my tortured, high-maintenance girlie heart, and Kristen Bell was so relatable that I legit teared up several times. I am hoping for a second season, and when (~manifesting~) it comes, I will likely watch the entire thing within two days again.

This was a GREAT show, but just because something is a good watch, that doesn’t mean it’s accurate or should be taken as such. Everyone is saying that they’re couple goals and inspiring their actual lives, and I gotta pump those brakes because bestie, maybe not.

Some people seem to miss that good films don’t make good examples. Like some more of my supposedly “hot” takes:

Andy should not have quit her job in The Devil Wears Prada. That was a fucking incredible opportunity that every journalist dreams of. She was also good at it and enjoying it for the most part. Her shitty boyfriend and friends were the real problem.
Anna and William in Notting Hill, also known as Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts, have no fucking chance of working. Their lives and personalities are so different and eventually that would catch up to them. Dating a celeb isn’t for everyone — but it is for me, so hit me up, Renee Rapp.
The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days couple are so hot and have great chemistry, but so poorly suited for each other. They also don’t know each other in the slightest, as they’ve been acting the entire time. There is zero chance of that working out longterm.

I could go on and on, but I think you get my point. Just like that saying “Hate the player, not the game” (barf), my version would be “Love the film, hate the reality.” It’s like when you read a steamy enemies-to-lovers scene and you’re lusting after his possessiveness, knowing that, in reality, it would be a guaranteed restraining order.

 
Image Credit: Courtesy of Netflix

Okay, no more foreplay, let’s get into this. Nobody Wants This is a 10-episode series that follows an agnostic sex podcaster and a rabbi falling in love. Joanne is a high-maintenance girlie with a wild dating history. Noah is a devout rabbi exiting a long-term relationship and determined to keep his parents happy. It shouldn’t work but it does… but does it?

The conversion matter. A big debate in the second half of the season is whether Joanne would convert for Noah. He has dreams of being the Head Rabbi, and as such, would be limited by marrying a non-Jewish woman. According to traditional Jewish law, a person’s Jewish status is passed down through the mother. Noah is not only Jewish, but a rabbi, and a super passionate one. Hence, I’m guessing it would be very important for him that his future kids are Jewish too. And while Joanne is kinda sorta open to converting, she would be doing this for the sake of it, as she isn’t sure if she even believes in organized religion. So while she could convert to be his wife, she wouldn’t believe in the matter or take it very seriously. I will gladly admit that this is not my area of expertise, and there are certainly Jewish writers who could discuss this matter far better, but I’m just flagging that this is an area of concern.
Noah abandoning his dreams. When Joanne is uncertain about converting and the whole lifestyle, she breaks things off (before taking FOREVER to leave, which kinda undermines the whole husky “don’t follow me” act). So Noah decides to turn down the promotion of his literal dreams, becoming Head Rabbi, to be with someone he has known for a few weeks at most. And I am supposed to be happy about this?? It’s giving Rachel not going to Paris for Ross in Friends. Will he come to resent her for this? Where can his career go with these limitations? But also for Joanne, as she is a successful podcaster and already censoring herself to limit what she says about Noah. She prides herself on her honesty and transparency, yet she is already bottling it up due to Noah. Are they actually their best selves together?
Joanne not taking ownership. I have so much love for how maturely Noah handles issues throughout the show. Like literal chefs kiss, get me this man. But while it’s so comforting to see him not run from her jealousy or issues, to fight through her ick for him, it’s also very one-sided. We fail to see Joanne really take ownership for her side of things, and instead watch him apologize or calm her down. I just don’t see their relationship working through the big hits of life. She doesn’t seem keen on really compromising for him, and while I applaud her staying true to herself, what if herself isn’t the right fit for him?
The rebound. I truly believe that someone needs some time alone between relationships. I think it is so important to know who you are without the influence of anyone else. My single years have taught me so much about what I value in a partner, what I need in a relationship, and what I am certainly not fucking with ever again. I got to learn that a lot of my film taste was just because my ex liked those movies, that I don’t want to end up with another person in a creative industry, and other fascinating tidbits. Noah is literally exiting a relationship with a woman he almost proposed to, and suddenly, he’s with the supposed love of his life. EEEK RED FLAG.
The lack of support. I don’t know if your partner’s family and friends have to like you, as you could be perfect and they’re just toxic AF, but it sure would help. I don’t know if I could ever be with someone my sisters didn’t get along with, because they know me so well and have the perspective I might be missing. I think being with someone whose family and friends are not willing to even get to know you would be EXHAUSTING, and make all the other issues that much harder. Again, Noah is a family-oriented, religious person, and I’m guessing all those family holidays are pretty important to him.

I am sorry to say that I do not believe that love is enough. Maybe I’ve never found the right love, that could be true!! But I just believe that it isn’t about love, it’s about work. I think we don’t stay faithful or become good partners because we fancy the tits off them, but because we want to be. We dedicate ourselves to someone and every day we decide to choose them all over again. Noah and Joanne are in love, there’s no doubt about that, but would they make good partners? Should they make good partners?

I know all of y’all are simply brimming with the urge to tell me “BUT IT’S A TRUE STORY.” Yeah, it is. It is based on the creator’s own relationship and marriage. Erin Foster is happily shacked up to Jewish music executive, Simon Tikhman, for whom she converted to Judaism in order to marry. So he was not a rabbi, she converted for him, and yeah, they might be the exception.

And I know, I know, “it’s just a TV show!!” Well, this is just a think piece. It’s something to think about, because some of us like to channel all of our attention on fictional TV shows instead of addressing our own problems. I’m sorry to say that love isn’t just a feeling or hours spent wrapped up naked in sheets, it’s working for someone, and having them suit your lifestyle. It’s a partnership, and I wonder if that’s missing for Noah and Joanne, and if maybe we shouldn’t be romanticizing them so much.