I’m enjoying The Rings of Power. Its second season felt stronger than the first, led by the incredible duo of Charles Edwards and Charlie Vickers (Celebrimbor and Annatar), whose chemistry gave this period of Tolkien’s mythical history the gravitas it required. I still had some issues with the show, including its treatment of big bads Damrod and Balrog, some cheesy dialogue, and the constant imitation of the Peter Jackson film trilogy, but I still looked forward to each episode. Unless it had harfoots in it.

Spoilers for The Rings of Power to follow.

The harfoots are dull. They always have been. I never cared for Nori or Poppy, I was unbothered when Sadoc died at the end of season one, and their story always feels like it’s taking valuable time away from the more important characters. This should be a show about elves and Númenóreans alone, and my hottest take is that the dwarves, Southlanders, and harfoots have no place here.

However, I understand why they were included. The Lord of the Rings is about small people doing great things, and the hobbit perspective of Frodo and Sam is of utmost importance to Tolkien’s story. It also acts as a lens through which the reader or viewer can make sense of this fantasy world. The hobbits are experiencing the world outside of The Shire for the first time, just like us. They’re audience surrogates, they ground the sublime in reality, and they remind the audience that this is about protecting their home and their simple way of life for normal people, rather than saving the world or slaying the biggest foes.

The problem is, this doesn’t work in the Second Age. The hobbits don’t have any role in the events that Tolkien scantly described here. This is a story of power, hubris, and bloody warfare. There’s no place for little people with hairy feet.

Tolkien never said that hobbits have large feet, just that they’re hairy. See also: he never wrote that elves have pointy ears. There’s something for your purists to get mad about.

Additionally, the harfoots are far more annoying than ordinary hobbits. Aside from the constant callbacks to things that Frodo, Sam, Merry, or Pippin say thousands of years later, the dialogue is poorly written. Just look at the whole “Grand-elf” crap at the end of the final episode, which prompts our definitely-not-infuriating Stranger to recall that he is, actually, Gandalf, which most of us worked out from the moths and Ian McKellen impressions at the end of season one.

On top of that, the accents are frankly terrible. If I was Irish, I would be offended. In fact, I’m offended on behalf of my Irish grandparents. With a bad script, worse accents, and no part to play in the story, many fans (myself included) have been asking why the harfoots were included at all. Many more rejoiced at the end of season two when, after accidentally reminding Gandalf of his name, they set out on the road, hopefully to never be seen again.

But are they gone for good? I’ve got bad news. While the harfoots are on the move, legion of stoors (more, different, proto-hobbits) in tow, they have a destination. Their plot this season has been about a prophecy that has been passed down for generations. A prophecy of green and fertile lands where they can settle down forever. I’m certain the migratory harfoots and now-displaced stoors are setting out to find and found The Shire.

The Rings of Power can’t do anything without falling prey to nostalgia. No plot point is complete without a callback to the Jackson films or Lord of the Rings books. It’s the most infuriating part of the show for me – be your own thing! Create your own designs for Narsil and the Balrog! – and it shows no signs of ending. That’s why I’m certain that the harfoots are on their way to create The Shire, and they’ll probably create Bag End specifically while they’re at it. Maybe they all put their luggage down in a row and the first hobbit hole is built where the bags end or something?

They will also reconnect with Gandalf there. He has already discovered his fondness for the halflings, but after he’s dealt with the mysterious dark wizard (yes, we’ve got another unidentified wizard to tease for two seasons) he needs to head west. He needs to pick up Narya from Cirdan, whose shipyards at the Grey Havens aren’t far from where the harfoots will inevitably settle down. Naturally, he’ll pop in for a smoke and a catch-up.

The Rings of Power spreads itself too thin, and I’m not going to hypocritically turn that into the Lord of the Rings reference that you’ve probably already inferred. The harfoots are the biggest offenders, but I could do without many more of the storylines, too. While many fans are excited to see the back of the world’s most annoying hobbits (Lobelia eat your heart out), I’m not counting my chickens this soon. We’ve got plenty more harfoot storylines in store, and my only hope is that their role is reduced going forward so we can spend more time with the more important characters.