Justin Bieber is sharing his tears for the world to see − and, by doing so, he’s sending an important message to men.
That message is that it’s OK to cry − something experts in psychology have said is crucial for men to understand, especially as it pertains to forming lasting relationships and boosting their overall wellbeing.
“People tend to have certain expectations for what behaviors are typical and expected of men and women in U.S. society,” Sapna Cheryan, professor of social psychology at the University of Washington, previously told USA TODAY. “Women — and not men — are expected to be the nurturers and caregivers. When someone violates these expectations, it can be surprising and draw attention.”
Bieber proves ‘men don’t cry’ is a thing of the past
On Sunday, Bieber posted a series of photos on Instagram, including pictures of him performing onstage. Two of the pictures, however, were selfies that showed tears streaming down his face. The singer did not share what made him cry or the context of the photos.
His crying drew plenty of strong reactions in the comment section, where fans flocked to express their concern. The singer’s wife Hailey Bieber also offered support, calling her husband “a pretty crier.”
The crying photos of Bieber surprised some fans; however, people shouldn’t be too shocked. After all, opinions of masculinity are changing − and that includes society’s acceptance of men who share their feelings.
Benjamin Calixte, founder of Therapy For Black Men, previously explained that watching classic “manly men” − like professional athletes such as Travis and Jason Kelce, for example − cry reminds us emotions don’t discriminate based on sex or gender.
“Men are becoming more emotionally expressive than ever,” Calixte said. “The trope of ‘men don’t cry’ is a thing of the past, which is a complete paradigm shift.”
What are the benefits of crying?
Plus, crying is good for you, no matter your sex or gender.
Studies suggest crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which eases one out of “fight or flight” and into “rest and digest” mode. Crying also releases feel-good hormones that relieve pain and reduce stress. Some researchers have hypothesized the rhythmic inhalation of cool air when sobbing may have “mood-improving effects.”
In many cases, crying is most therapeutic when it’s personally meaningful or relevant because it may elicit empathy and social support from others, said Lauren Bylsma, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh who has studied the effects of crying. (Some researchers have suggested crying protected our ancestors from violence within their communities by encouraging bonding.)
Men are facing a loneliness crisis. Crying about it may actually help.
Men are also more lonely than ever − and experts say a reluctance to share their emotions is likely contributing to it.
In a 2021 survey by the Survey Center on American Life, only 21% of men said they received emotional support from a friend within the past week, compared to 41% of women. Just 25% of men said they told a friend they loved them within the past week, as opposed to 49% of women.
“A lot of men are lonely because they lack the ability to put emotions into words, which makes it hard for them to form relationships,” Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at The University of Akron and co-author of “The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths about Masculinity and Violence,” previously said. “The inability to put their emotions into words leads to failures in relationships, (which) leads to loneliness.”
A crucial step in overcoming loneliness, Levant said, is embracing your feelings and sharing them with people who love you. After all, when men give voice to their feelings, he says, their relationships tend to improve.
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