The early career of Johnny Depp is largely comprised of his roles in Wes Craven’s A Nightmare on Elm Street and Oliver Stone’s Vietnam war movie Platoon, in both of which he played a supporting position. After performing as a teen idol in the Fox television series 21 Jump Street, Depp started to land lead roles, like in John Water’s Cry-Baby and, of course, most famously, Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands.

It was after the success of Burton’s film that Depp’s career really took off. However, with the combination of fame, youth, and overwork often comes a profound depression. And after starring in three films released in the year 1993, Depp found himself in quite a low sense of mental wellness.

Depp once opened up on the time he spent making one of those films, Lasse Hallstrom’s What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Depp played the titular role, a 25-year-old grocery clerk who cares for his morbidly obese mother and his disabled younger brother (played by a young Leonardo Dicaprio) at their home in the small town of Endora, Iowa.

At the Santa Barbara International Film Festival, Depp was asking about his time making Gilbert Grape. He dourly replied: “It was a hard time for me, that film, for some reason. I don’t know why. It was one of those moments that you have that one, especially an actor, shouldn’t have often.”

“It’s where you can’t really tell if the thing you’re living through, or what you’re feeling at the time, is coincidental or if somehow you’ve made some prior plans without really knowing about it, deviating, you know,” he added. “I still don’t know with regards to that film, but it was a great time with regards to the film, but it was mostly really miserable.”

Still, despite his depression, Depp managed to give an excellent performance, and at the age of just 19, he was nominated for his first-ever Academy Award. At the Santa Barbara Festival, he continued to question the mental health state he was in during production: “Did I have to be that way for the film, did it just happen, or did I just step up into that particular mood at that particular time? I don’t know.”

Depp had previously admitted to “torturing” DiCaprio on the set of Gilbert Grape and further reiterated why he was indeed having a “miserable” time on set. “It was a hard time for me, that film, for some reason,” he said. “I don’t know why. I tortured him. I really did.”

“He was always talking about these video games, you know? I told you it was kind of a dark period,” Depp added. “I was like ‘No, I will not give you a drag of my cigarette while you hide from your mother again, Leo.’” However, despite the torture and the dark period, Depp also gained a level of respect for his junior actor.

He said: “I’d say the absolute truth is that I respect Leo a lot. He worked really hard on that film and spent a lot of time researching. He came to set, and he was ready to work hard, and all his ducks were in a row.” So perhaps Leo’s spritely attitude was actually what helped Depp get out of his funk and focus on making a great movie instead.