The 27-year-old Netflix personality has made headlines for her post-show weight loss, which Us broke down with her here. But what has it been like for her to watch back her dramatic relationship and breakup with ex-fiancé Nick Dorka? She doesn’t mince words when asked about the feedback she’s received.

 

“I’m a bitch. It’s like — is she a bitch or is she that bitch, but I’m bitchy!” Hannah told Us. “I know that and I’m direct and I can be rude a lot because I don’t realize my words. People can tell you things and you can be like, ‘Oh, OK, I should work on that.’ But when you actually see exactly what’s coming out of your mouth, you’re like, ‘That was harsh.’ There’s specific conversations with Nick where I could have eased up a bit or I could have chilled, like, a lot.”

Keep scrolling to read Hannah’s answers to questions about her breakup with Nick and more:

Courtesy of Netflix
Us: Why did you decide to end things with Nick?
HJ: Nick was away at another friend’s wedding. My mom was in town and he had just met my friends. We were having issues. It just seemed at that point I was just dogging him and I was being the nastiest version of myself. We were bringing out the worst versions in each other. It wasn’t a specific thing. It was just like, ‘OK, we’re trying on wedding dresses [and] I can’t do this. We should not be getting married.’

Related: ‘Love Is Blind’ Recap: Hannah, Nick Split Over His Lack of ‘Responsibilities’

Us: Is there a reason you didn’t want to wait for the weddings?
HJ: I think it would be cruel to have his family and my family come to the wedding when we both know that this is probably not gonna work out. But the other thing is — we just didn’t like each other toward the end. I was not being nice and I don’t know why he would wanna continue that. It was just like, ‘We need to break this off before it gets nastier ’cause it’s already getting nasty.’

Us: Nick came off a bit surprised by the breakup — did you understand why he might’ve been confused about why you ended things?
HJ: I don’t really know. It’s really hard for me to understand it and I still have trouble understanding him to this day. But I think he was surprised because he wanted to go all the way. I don’t think it should have been a shock because it was pretty obvious that we weren’t gonna make it. I was talking to him horribly and I apologize for that, but I just can’t believe he let me. I should not have done that, but he’d let me do it.

Us: How much did Nick’s chat with Katie play into the breakup?
HJ: I was just frustrated by the whole situation. I felt like it was like, ‘Hello, I’m right here. I have no clue what’s going on.’ I think it was a little bit out of line, but it’s not that serious. It was just that [they] were talking for almost an hour and I was standing right there and didn’t even think about it. I was like, ‘What are you talking about?’ … I had no clue. Now that I watch it, I think it’s completely harmless — not that I think she gave him phenomenal advice — but I had no clue what they were saying to each other. I was very frustrated at that moment, like, if you can’t just simply explain [when] I’m curious about what’s going on, then, maybe, in the future it’ll be worse. It was just another thing that was troublesome.

Us: Is Katie still one of your “best friends?”
HJ: Katie, myself and Marissa, we call ourselves the trio and we’re very close. As you can see, I’m very dramatic and [when I said], ‘She’s the best friend in the whole world,’ [I meant], like, we were very close in the pods. And I think what people don’t realize is that just as fast as you can get married to someone, you can develop friendships just as fast. We were good friends. Maybe she’s not my best friend in the whole wide world, but we are good friends.

Us: Do you think Nick misled you at all with comments about his looks and being a football player?
HJ: It’s really hard because if he was being humorous about the Travis Kelce [comparison] or whatever — if that was a joke, you can’t tell it’s a joke on the other end. Like, it’s hard. I couldn’t tell. So that’s what you’re expecting. But not only that, Nick, as the other girls [said], Nick is not what [we] expected. Even though Nick is very attractive. Nick was just like, ‘I have one green eye, I have one blue eye, I’m Cuban, I gave freckles, I’m a big guy.’ He painted so much about himself. … He gave so many characteristics that you couldn’t help but build this person [in your head]. when he wasn’t that person — which is totally fine — it was just shocking. I think we were both guilty in the way; I took what he said and ran with it, even though that’s ‘cause of my own imagination. But he also gave away a lot of information to where I did have an image of him.

Courtesy of Netflix
Us: Do you think that set you two up for disaster — conversations about your looks?
HJ: Maybe. [I know] me talking about how I was a cheerleader was a thing too. I’m like, ‘Have y’all ever seen a fat cheerleader before?’ You’re in there and you’re so confident, so you’re just talking and you’re not even thinking that, like, things that you’re saying could give away what you look like or paint a picture of something that’s not the reality. I think we’re definitely both guilty of it, even if we didn’t mean to. And so when we saw each other, I was just honest, like, I thought he was so much taller than me and he wasn’t.

Us: What did you mean when you said you felt “manipulated” by Nick during your relationship?
HJ: I felt manipulated in the way, like — let’s go to the forbidden topic of sex, for instance. One of the reasons that Nick and I developed such a close relationship and it was almost lustful in a way [is] we talked about sex a lot and we were very open about it. And when he first told me [he didn’t want to talk about it on camera] I just thought, ‘OK, I get it. Friends, family [will see it], his parents are Catholic.’ But then I started to think — I don’t understand why you don’t wanna share this on camera. This is a huge problem that we’re having in our relationship. And I think this is stemming from my anger, which is not a good thing, but it was. I felt like I needed to talk about it and him saying that he didn’t wanna talk about it, I felt like he just didn’t want anything to make him look not in a good light. … I was cruel to Nick and I completely apologized. I should not have acted that way, but I think I was just so frustrated because when we were on camera, he didn’t say much and he was just very much, like, agreeable, but we’re not agreeing off camera.

 

Us: So do you think Nick wasn’t as open when the cameras were rolling?
HJ: I think everything that you see is based on truth. We said what we said. [But] it is a TV show and there’s so much more to our relationship that you can see. They just can’t show everything. It’s not possible. When we were on camera, it was very different.

Us: Have you talked to him at all since the show started airing?
HJ: We don’t speak.

Us: What is your No. 1 question for Nick at the reunion?
HJ: Why did you let me speak to you in that way? Or, like, why did you let me treat you like that? I shouldn’t have treated you like that, [but] if we really loved each other and stuff, why did we wanna continue this If it was making you miserable? I just wanna understand.

Us: And what would your No. 1 question be for another one of your costars?
HJ: I want to know why Tim is mad that Alex is taking naps. Let her sleep! She didn’t even get to finish her dinner — what was that about?

Us: What about Leo — when it wasn’t working out with Nick, did any part of you think, ‘Oh my God, should I have gone with Leo?’
HJ: When we had our dramatic breakup, that put a bad taste in my mouth for a bit. Leo, truly, was not even on my mind at all because I was so laser focused on Nick. And then after the experience, you always think like, ‘What would’ve been if I would’ve chosen someone different? What would that relationship be like?’ It would be completely different, but you’ll never know. I think about it sometimes, but it’s not at the front of my mind or anything.